Elf on the Shelf Carol is getting her five servings of fruit a day, and I strongly suspect she is mocking me. Perched on a pile of produce, she gives me the side eye, like only an elf can, as I polish off the last of the lemon bars. It’s fine she’s reporting to Santa and all, but she can lose the smug, condescending attitude pronto. I have a damage control plan that begins Monday. Her judging isn’t helpful; it hurts.
Tomorrow is my last day of reckless holiday eating (until Christmas, of course), and I won’t have Carol wagging her elfin finger of shame at me all day again. I’ll be escorting her out of the kitchen tonight, and roping it off until sunrise. Who knows where Carol will pop up next?